Medium of Expression

Isn’t life beautiful?

Yes, it is because connections are being realized. All my five senses are helping me establish my being. The mind is able to analyze and interpret it . And because I am able to express it through words, I am loving it.

Finally things are moving, I can feel it. Slowly the process has begun…the ride is smoother not as choppy as before. There are not skipped letters or smudging pn paper. My pen (fountain) feels like that it belongs to me. It took its time to break-in time before becoming mine. As soon as the fight between two of us stopped the fact just dawned upon me that true relationships take time to bloom and flourish.

Last night, I happened to spend sometime with my kind of new fountain pen. I had just finished filling up its ink tank. I scribbled few words to make sure the flow was optimum. Suddenly, there was nothing, but my pen and me. In that moment of nothingness, I asked a question, “Would you be my friend for life? Would be able to support me all the time; in certainties and uncertainties? Would you help me in my journey of Ayurveda?

And then I felt some vibrations on the tip of my finger. I felt some movement on the other side. My hand holding the pen was moving but the words were not mine. The upward and downward lines of the letters began to connect. All of a sudden my handwriting changed. It was cursive,  (which I hardly ever do.)

Yes! My pen wanted to convey something. My Namiki wished to say something as if it had life in it. How could a pen say something? It was confusing but it was beautiful. I didn’t want it to stop. So, I just kept writing; whenever it was the pen talking the handwriting changed. (My pen talking or expressing would be in Italics and in blue.)

“Why do you think I came into your life?

Why did you take your husband to the book shop to buy a fountain pen?

And then why did he not want to use the most expensive pen he ever paid for in his whole life?

Why did he gift it back to you asking you to break-in*? 

I got impatient by its insensitivity (no hello, no introduction) and then I was taken aback by so many questions. I asked again, “Is this true? Are you my pen?

A drop or two of ink bloated on the paper as if few tears were shed. The handwriting changed again. It was cursive but it had slowed down a bit and there were some spelling errors. The fluency was missing this time. It appeared as if someone is in pensive mood.

“Yes, it is me, your black pen with black lid. The lid that has a gold ring at the edge and golden clip. the nib is movable for effortless penmanship.”

Things began to change inside me. I softened a bit. I wanted it to continue so I waited.

“I Namiki, wanted to tell you that I would stay with you as long as you would like me to.  I was locked inside a black box held between a white elastic string. Even though my butt lay on a soft, leathery, suede like material it was uncomfortable. I couldn’t move plus that shiny, golden pentagon logo of mine didn’t let me nod off. You showed me the light of the world and I am ever so grateful to you for that. I know you didn’t bring me into your life for yourself but you are the harbinger. You pumped life into me, you are ‘Maa’. 

I took a deep breath. ‘Maa’ means mother is a small word but it is loaded. It comes with lot of emotions. I felt the vibe.

 “You started spending time with me, started with following care instructions. I was your prized possession, you showed me off to your friends. Quietly, you carried me around everywhere you went but you took me out only when you thought it was safe for me. You even saved the box in which I came as a souvenir. I felt important and thanks for taking such good care of me. My biggest day was when you filled my tank with the royal blue ink. I felt as if I got wings, now I could fly. I could express, I could be me and finally I could achieve my purpose.”

I was speechless, thoughtless lost in the moment. The pen slipped off my hand and fell on the paper. I thought that is it. I softly picked it up looked at it carefully (lovingly, I am not sure.) There was no physical difference than it was half hour back but something has definitely happened between us.

I would say, “Maa, I felt  as if the connection was formed from the day one but it has taken you few months to realize it. I am thankful that we have formed a bond and you don’t consider me as a commodity anymore. I am yours and will always be there to help in your future pursuits. Always remember this, ” A pen is mightier than a sword.” So, please keep me close, keep my me full and we will live happily ever after. 

Connection has been realized.


*break-in* is the term used by fountain pen experts to make the new pen write smoother.