I am no “Tiger mom” but no “Scared-y cat” either


My two boys are seven and two.

They are my Sun and my Moon.

They brighten my days and shimmer my nights.

 

The happiness they render is unfathomable.

They are my salt and pepper.

They bring taste to my life.

 

I am no astronomer observing from far and beyond.

But they are far too valuable to let them go by themselves.

No kid likes to be corrected, especially, by their mom.

 

My sons are reprimanded for breaking the boundaries.

They are no longer my “little angels.”

They are just two people; meant to be shown the way.

 

I know that hurts; I ride the same roller coaster too.

The scene isn’t picturesque; it isn’t pleasing either.

Alas! I can’t cede to such weaknesses.

 

I have to guide them through.

Learning to attune to a fine act of balancing;

It’s hard but I try being firm, fair, at times flexible too.

 

I am no “Tiger mom” but no “Scared-y cat” either.

I hope the day comes when they could  proudly say,

“Whatever you did…worked for us, Mom. It was the right thing to do.”

***

 

 

Styles of Parenting

In Reference to:

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

By Amy Chua

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3 comments on “I am no “Tiger mom” but no “Scared-y cat” either

  1. Today I have some free time in office and so I opened your blog and and gone through it.I once again read your poem I AM NOT A TIGER MOM………..Once again I am reminded of a news which I have just read in the news paper:

    NEW YORK: Demanding parents may believe that strict parenting can make their kids succeed, but a new study has claimed that “tiger moms” are actually contributing to the children’s low self-esteem and high levels of depression.
    In her book ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’, Chinese author Amy Chua had suggested that highpressure parenting of Asians helps kids succeed both academically and in pastimes. But, the new research by Desiree Qin of Michigan State University found that the high achievers are actually frustrated with parents’ demands and are more anxious and depressed than others.
    Prof Qin, who studied Chinese-American students at elite High School in New York, said that success and happiness do not have to be mutually exclusive. “Amy said Western children are not happier than Chinese ones. But at the same time, research from our study does show that when parents place a lot of pressure on their kids, the children are less happy,” Qin was quoted as saying.

    I never put any pressure on my two sons and allowed them to opt for any stream of their choice and I think it was a right decision on my part. Obviously the education was important as it is related to earning the bread, particularly in India. It is entirely a different issue that my elder son is very well placed in life as compared to my younger son but this has nothing to do with my putting a pressure on them for anything whatsoever. So I fully agree with you.As a father I can allow them to take liberties with me, but not the advantage.

  2. I saw this poem only today as I was too preoccupied since last week of November,2010 when two little ones,bout whom the poem has been written, came to me and after that I am living in the nostalgia of their company,the time I spent with them,their little demands and for every thing ,rite or wrong,looking up to thier Granpa for help and also rescue from the bulging eyes of their Ma and Papa. Indeed it was a nice time.Yes of course the children has to be shown a rite path to follow.This is tender age when you can mould the child in a favourable cast.The poem indeed has nicely been written and the philosophy behind it is still great.Keep it up.

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