Reasons for my Excuses


...I have my Reasons

“I do not have my homework…because my dog ate my homework.”

“I can’t come to work … as my friend is delivering a baby and I have to be with her in Operation Theatre.”

I can’t come into work today… I have amnesia from when my two year old hit me over the head with his toy… wait I don’t have a two year old… do I?

Excuses… Excuses… Excuses…they have become such an integral part of our lives. However, good or bad an excuse might be, but we make use of them time and again. It is just not our professional life that has been affected by it but our family life too. We make excuses to everyone, even to people we love the most. The kids do not remain untouched.

Don’t get me wrong here. Neither am I opinionated nor am I prophesying that you will burn in hell if you make excuses. I am just trying to direct your attention towards one trifle of life. I think of it as an art that each and everyone of us have a knack of. Some more, some less, some of us hone and polish them while others leave it like that.   Willingly or unwillingly we often make use of this skill. At times, we just have to be creative and come up with a good reason for our absence. At other times for not doing something that we think is not right for us; and that’s what an Excuse is.

If one doesn’t wish to go to work, something like, “I am going to a religious place to pray for you (boss) and your well being” might work. Or at other times one might even go to the extent of saying, “I have horrible gas and I don’t want my work environment to be a fire hazard due to all of the methane gas that will be coming out of me. It would not be a productive work day for anyone.” Do whatever it takes but Do not call your boss tomorrow and tell him that you are not coming to work because the works is useless and the boss… (use ‘S…” words and some other censored words). However tempting it might sound to you but please do not do that and increase the unemployment rate in today’s economy.

Do not feel bad about not having this skill and keep working on it. Meanwhile, make use of other resources. Today, I will make you aware and knowledgeable about the resources that come in handy at the time of an emergency or urgency. Other good thing about all the helpful resources available to us is that they are available for free.

Always Befriend Excusers: There are people who are really good in this art. God has gifted them this special artillery, which they can use against anyone or for any situation. Be close them and use their power as your vantage point.

Polish Your Networking Skills: If you are not creative enough to come up with a good let off yourself then make use of your networking skills. Talk to your “true” friends and brew something. Two brains are better than one. But, if you only have some backstabbing acquaintances then don’t get depressed; here comes the third solution.

Make use of Internet: I wish to enrich your life with my newly acquired knowledge. It is something that you might want to thank me for.  If you fall short of ideas then make use of the websites solely devoted to just this art. Experiencing the popularity of Internet, why am I even surprised to know that such sites exist? These websites have a collection of excuses categorized under various sections. They have covered all aspects of life, from your office cubicle to your bedroom: nothing is left untouched. They are designed for the audience that has not been nurtured with this skill. Go through their ideas and tailor it to your needs and situation. I am sure you will find some or the other justification that will help you to come out of that unwanted spot. Google (browse) and make use of websites like “mother of all excuses.”

Doesn’t making excuses question our honesty or integrity? Hey! Don’t try to make me feel bad about that, I have my reasons for doing it. And Don’t give me the feeling that by giving these tips I am doing something nasty. I am just trying to be helpful. I agree that by making excuses I am being untruthful but “what good is the truth that hurts someone?” It is not all bad to make excuses. It helps us from not hurting other people’s feelings. It is always better to say,  “I cannot come to your place because of some prior commitment” rather than saying. “I do not like being among the bunch of drunkards”. Sometimes it becomes crucial for our peaceful existence too. You will soon appreciate the usage of the word peaceful in the last sentence.

Think about two scenarios and their consequences;

Wife ‘A’ is informing her husband about her shopping plans, and she says, “Darling, ‘X’ wants me to accompany her for her shopping.”

Wife ‘B’ is doing a similar thing and says, “I know I have already spend 1000 bucks on my dresses but I need to go again with ‘X’ to check out the new arrivals.”

I hope you understand the essentiality of excuses for a peaceful living?

Oh… yes of course it does put a question on our integrity and whatnot, but then we have to learn to live with some unpleasantries too. It is a little thing that usually passes off unregistered without much ado. I hope you are not expecting any promises from me; of not making any excuse in future or something like that. I have ‘other prior commitments, and ‘some other important businesses to take care of.’ I am sorry but I need to go now, “My dog did it again.”

Truth: I do not have a Dog